Emily Holmes January 2 at 1126 AM Liberal Friends Listen to This Right Now Democratic Nominees Are Not Clay Pigeons I Repeat DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES ARE NOT CLAY PIGEONS but Emily Whatever Do You Mean? What Is This Metaphor? It Goes Like This One by One Over the Next Couple of Months Democratic Nominees Are Going to Launch Their Official Bids for President They Are Going to Launch Themselves One by One Into the Sky Right Into Our Line of Vision Our Job Is Not to Shoot Them Our Job Is NOT the Second We See Them Cross the Sky to Reach Out for the Gun Being Handed to Us by Conservatives Because Duh Conservatives and Guns and Take Aim and Blast Them One by One Out of the Air for Not Being Absolutely Perfect Not Likeable Enough BOOM Not an Inspiring Enough Speaker BOOM Said That Awkward Thing That One Time BOOM I Wouldn't Want to Have a Beer With Them BOOM Too Old BOOM Too Female BOOM Too White BOOM Not a Fucking Flawless Progressive Superhero BOOM Because What Happens Next? We Shoot the Candidates Down We Degrade Them We Belittle Them We Smear Them Then We Hand the Gun to the Media They Do the Same They Hand the Gun to the Conservatives They Do the Same Then the Bots Start Reloading BOOM BOOM BOOM and Then at the End of Primary Season We Have to Pick Up the Shattered Remains of Whoever Got the Most Votes and Attempt to Glue Them Back Together Into a Candidate Who Can Win the General Election and We Will Lose Because We Learned Fucking NOTHING From 2016 Apparently Trump Didn't Win Because Every Conservative Loves Him Most of Them Hate His Fucking Guts but They Held Their Noses and Voted for Him Because He Was the Only Way to Push Their Agenda Forward and Holy Shit Have They Pushed It Despite His Complete Ineptitude His Bumbling His Gross Incompetence His Blatant Corruption They Have Shoved Through Some Really Damaging Policies That Are Hurting Real People Every Single Day and They Will Continue to Do So for as Long as We Let Them So Here We Are You're Not Jazzed About Liz Warren? Awesome Beto Not Your Boy? Swell Sick of Biden Memes? Good for You Friend Keep It to Yourself Why? Because EVERY SINGLE DEMOCRAT WHO RUNS IS INFINITELY BETTER FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR COUNTRY THAN THE FLAMING RACIST POPULIST TRASH CURRENTLY STEERING THIS COUNTRY DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN I'm Not Sure if You Noticed but We Already Elected a Guy Based on a Cult of Personality Rather Than on Whether He Was Qualified in Any Way to Do the Iob and We're Going to Be Putting Out the Flames for DECADES but What Do We Do Instead You Ask? Watch Debates Compare Platforms Be Informed Choose Your Favorite BASED ON REAL FACTUAL POLICIES AND EXPERIENCE NOT ON YOUR DELICATE FEELINGS AND WHETHER YOU FEEL SUFFICIENTLY ENTERTAINED OR INEXPLICABLY HAPPY AT THE VERY SIGHT OF THEIR GLOWING FACE Then Get Involved Register People Drive to the Polls Hold Signs on Street Corners Write Postcards Knock on Doors Don't Tell Us Why the Other Candidates Suck Tell Us Why Yours Is THE BEST Fight FOR Them Remember How We Used to Fight FOR Things Rather Than Against Them? I Know Trump Makes It Hard to Remember but I Promise That's a Thing We Used to Know How to Do Then We All Collectively Wholeheartedly Throw Our Weight and Energy and Voice Behind Whoever Gets the Nomination if We Do That We Win Period It's Not a Question of Who Can Beat Trump Don't You Get It? A Sentient Fucking Houseplant With a Liberal Platform Could Beat Trump if We Do This Right It's a Question of Whether WE Can Beat Him or Would We Rather Tear Ourselves Apart? Look Around You Folks the Stock Market Is in Free-Fall Our International Reputation Is in Tatters Our Foreign Policy Is for Sale to Dictators Our Free Press Is Under Daily Attack Our Supreme Court Is One Conservative White Dude Away From Full-On Gilead and We Can't Keep Asking an 84-Year-Old Woman Recovering From Broken Ribs and a Third Bout of Cancer to Hang on for Six More Years Because We Can't Get Our Heads Out of Our Own Asses I Mean She'll Do It Obviously Because RBG Is a BOSS but She Shouldn't Have to I Repeat This Is Not a Test of Our Candidates There Are Lots of Good Solid Options It's a Test of US of OUR Ability to Unite of OUR Strength of OUR Ability to Put Aside Selfish Arbitrary Purity Tests and Scales of Likeability and to Just FUCKING GET IT DONE We Don't Need the Perfect Candidate to Rescue Us We Need to Realize That We Can Rescue Ourselves So How About It Resistance? They Want Us to Forget That We Have the Numbers the Motivation and the Power They Want Us to Implode Let's Explode Instead and Leave Nothing but a Charred Ruin of This Nightmare Administration in Our Wake BOOM 14K Comments 67K Shares Snarksandkisses Also Good to Keep THIS SHIT in Mind